Facing fear and Doing it Anyway: A Biking Adventure

Nervous and tense – facing fear on a multitude of levels. Me, my bike, two daredevil cyclists, and an idyllic course.

What could be better – a bike ride in glorious high country – with a local?

Right? Weeeeeeeeelllllll….

I was feeling a bit nervous,  anxious – tense – Yes, all right I was scared BIG TIME. 

You see our friend is a seasoned mountain biker.  

Like my partner, he isn’t easily scared. 

He’s someone that throws caution to the wind – gets in there and gives it a go.

And whilst I’ve gotten braver and accomplished things I’d never dare – facing fears with an adventurous husband –

I’m still a wee bit cautious at times – especially when it comes to outdoor recreational pursuits. 

 It all started so, so well.

The terrain was undemanding – no what the f$^^!! do I here moments.

I adopted the ‘Let the boys roar on ahead’ while I mosey on behind – at my own pace.

I shoulda known, right.

It was like they’d sat down – over the best coffee they could find – and devised the strategy.

A strategy that was all about – Greg coming out of this biking trek – in one piece – intact (physically, mentally…. and bike-wise). 

I mean this was a trek – where Negative Nelly – was let off the leash – and was ‘goin to town’:

• nope – can’t do it;
• I’ll stuff it up;
• I’ll get half way up and run outta legs;
• I’ll end up in a crumbling pile with the bike parts scattered everywhere among the gorgeous surrounds;
• You $#!!! (*&^ why’d you bring me here (Yep I was losing it a bit here, need to chillax).  

Anyway back to the ride.

I shoulda known – The gentle beginning was a ruse – gently lulling me into ‘this’ll be okay’ terrain.

Up ahead were  steep, steep *&#$@! hills – yep one after the other.

And little did I know about the dips or incredibly tight corners  – that induced heart palpitations and buckets of sweat – and had me almost too scared to look ahead.

So I’m looking at these hills slowly approaching (as my pedal speed suddenly dives) and thinking SERIOUSLY!!

• Side note and BTW: Did I mention this wasn’t your everyday bike track? It was a track favoured by the daredevil locals: a track we later found out was utilised for recreational competitions. 

Suddenly, Devious Greg recognises this opportunity for what it is – and makes his grand entrance:

• Why not chillax right here Greg…
• Text the boys and tell them you’ll see them afterwards.
• I mean they’re off on their Boys Own Adventure. 

 

I shoulda known though. I shoulda known.

There he was…up ahead…just waiting…

Devious Greg is no match for our awesome friend – or my husband for that matter.

• Do you think they were gonna let me chillax? 
• HELL NO!!

Having a husband – who encourages, supports, and recognises capacity and possibility in me when I’ve closed down to fear…

A husband that is patient to the point where I’d probably long have given up.

Now that’s ONE thing – but you mean to tell me there’s a back up – a standby – a friend who’s like that as well. 

I was outnumbered here big time. 

 

Our friend is there through every twist and turn,

through every OMFG heart stopping occasion . 

• Yep you’ve gotta jump that. 

through every up and over bone shaking obstacle and 

• Seriously anything loose here – is lost forever.

It’s like he’s read my mind – like he’s listened in to Devious Greg’s incitements.

He trails just behind me – offering clear, pointed instructions (no waffle, no bull*!#@!).

He recognises the efforts I’m making.

He sees the capacity and possibility in me – and makes it manifest. Helps me see it. 

He’s there in a way that’s not forced – not uncomfortable – not ‘will you leave me the $##@@! alone!!’

 

Whilst my heart feels like it’ll give out – whilst I’m still panicked  – whilst I’m still scared to the point of tears – at times –

with support in either direction, what’s a boy to do?

I’m facing fear – I’m feeling it and riding through it.

I’m being confronted with the reality that my fears are not coming to fruition.

Heck, I’m making it through – to the next OMFG moment – and the next – and the next…with my bike and me still in one piece. 

 

Tentatively, and more surely over the distance, I trust more in me.

I exceed my business as usual – my taken for granted thinking and ways of being.

I exceed my oh so comfortable zone – in these moments. Over and over. 

I ^&%!! do it!!

Thanks to these most Devious and Cunning of Strategists.  

Facing Fear – Resources

1.  Check out another Fearful moment for me – when I went Rock Hopping. 

2. Risk-taking can take various forms. It’s not always of the daredevil type. Sometimes it’s just everyday events.